Deutschland pt.1

Some things about Germany:

No door handles are round. If you see a round door handle, it leads to a fake door; run! Or it’s in the middle of the door, in which case it belongs to an old house. However, since time immemorial they have had door handles. I watched Der Untergang (The Downfall) again and saw that, yes indeed, Hitler’s bunker had non-round door handles.

Germans love their hockey, at least Freiburg does. Last week I went to a German hockey game (I know, me and hockey huh?) and man o’ man were the fans fan-like. They knew the names of all their players and wore the jerseys and everything.

Things aren’t really expensive, even with the exchange rate. I’ve run into a few expensive things (gaming books, clothing), but for the most part food is way cheaper than in Canada. I should say groceries are cheaper than in Canada, buying pre-made food can be expensive, but is often cheap as well (depends where you eat, but isn’t that the case anywhere?).

Radio in Freiburg sucks. I mean, 99.3 the Fox isn’t the greatest radio station, but at least Vancouver has variety. Freiburg’s radio tastes seem to be limited to hits of the ‘70s/’80s, and the junk that passes for hip-hop in what I’ve labeled as the post-Biggie era©. No, wait. I heard some ragtime on NPR the other day, so… I guess that’s something. In fact, when I haven’t been listening to records (that’s right I bought a record-player and some records… Who didn’t see that coming?) I’ve been listening to NPR to help with my German comprehension.

German cashiers are the laziest people on the planet. Customer service definitely isn’t a top-priority in Germany. There are a few places where I’ve encountered top-notch customer service like at the bank, or the Deutsche Bahn (the train station), but for the most part customers aren’t the main concern of customer service representatives. All cashiers sit down on chairs all the time, no matter where you are. If there’s a cash register there, you can bet there’s someone sitting behind it. They don’t even hand you your change, they put it in a dish or an indent in the counter and you have to scoop it up yourself. Oh, and forget about bagging things for you, they wont even offer a bag for the most part. In fact, most bags cost extra (even the crummy plastic ones that North American business practically throw away). I think this is because of the pollution that plastic bags cause when disposed of (something I’ve just noticed North American becoming concerned about, but has really caught on here in Germany).
The lack of customer service can sometimes be nice when you’re not very good with the language and you don’t want to look like a fool as you struggle for the words needed to say “no thanks, I’m just looking,” (“Ich suche mich nur um”) but I really could have used an opinion when I was buying my sweet-ass jacket (picture included).
This is going to be a long topic for as a customer service specialist such as myself I am quite opinionated on the subject. Whenever you need to deal with someone who has anything to do with how you live, you better hope you’re available during the half-hour or so that they are on a certain day. My Hausemeister (landlord) is only available for half an hour on Mondays and Wednesdays. The Internet people are only available for an hour on Wednesday and Thursday; and nothing in this city is open on Sundays. I feel that the last clause is common for all of Germany (Berlin may be an exception). You better have something to do for Sunday (a book maybe?) ‘cause there’s no way you’re going out. I find that many people hang out at parks, or go to a soccer game if it wasn’t played on a Friday or Saturday already.

Germans use the 24-hour clock almost exclusively, that and the Metric system (which may not surprise those of you who have seen Pulp Fiction). I love both of these things! When I come back I want to continue using the 24-hour clock; but I’m sort of put-off by the thoughts of all the stares I’ll get when I say (“oh, it’s 18 o’ Clock”).

Germans are really nice people, and they touch you when you talk to them. Well, the old people do, and maybe it’s just Freiburgers that are nice; but I’ll be damned if old Germans aren’t the cutest people on the planet. This old lady asked me when this microwave dinner expired today, and I could barely stop myself from pinching her cheeks. But seriously, they’re great. Even the young people seem more outgoing.

Liquor is ridiculously cheap. I bought a Liter of Jim Beam bourbon for €12, and a bottle of scotch for €7, and a few days ago I bought a six-pack of lager (Ganter Freiburg Spezial) for €4 (they’re normal North American-sized beer bottles but most beer here is in the half-liter variety and had I bought six of those it would only have been slightly more expensive. I’m talkin’ cents). If you noticed the connection between my liquor purchases you may have noticed that I’m prepping to make me a George Thorogood (based off the song by the same man, where he asks for a bourbon, a scotch, and a beer… Mix, and enjoy).

On the subject of alcohol, they really only have Pilsner or Heferweizen here. I don’t know if this is all of Germany, or just the south, but if it’s not Pilsner, then it’s Hefewizen, and if not that then nothing. This sucks for me, as I find the taste of Pilsner to be revolting. Heferwizen is great, but only in small quantities as the night after Max, Dom, and I drank too many will attest. The hunt for a decent lager is a heavy one. Turns out, Germany exports all of its lager, because it lasts longer. Thus if you want lager you have to ask for an ‘Export Bier’. My favorite at the moment is Ganter (which is brewed here in Freiburg), however it still doesn’t take the place of Red Stripe as my favorite.

I thought I had more, but I can’t think of anything. I guess we’ll make this an ongoing series. My lasagna’s almost ready so I should probably attend to that. Also wanted to let everyone know that I almost have Internet. Next week I walk into the Internet place and hope they have a modem for me. I’m gonna try and upload this at a café tonight or tomorrow so you may be reading this around the actual date I wrote it (keen, huh?), which is the 2nd of October.

Tschuss!